One Worn Out Mama's Spill:

As some of you know, Boy Wonder & I have been hard down butting heads as of late.  But after stripping him down to the BAREST essentials of teenaged life, I am beginning to see my actual legit child re-emerge.  I would be lying if I said it wasn't the most beautiful relief ever designed.  An admittedly slow process, we seem to be embarking on a more positive trek.  I think children like mine (strong willed, intelligent, independent thinkers) reach a point in their lives when they are beginning to decide who they are going to be and as they have done their entire lives, they push their boundaries.  Except now, they are older, wiser (as it were), and MUCH more exposed to outside influence.  So now when they push those boundaries, they push HARD.  They push until it seems that those boundaries will surely burst wide open at the seams.  They flex their strength against our own, full on gladiator style, and then they pose themselves ready for the wrath & recoil.  But I think that as they stand there on their own personal mountain top, pounding their chest and ready to take on the warriors of the world, they are watching.  They are watching to see how hard we will fight...how hard we will fight BACK.  Watching to see if we really mean it when we say we will move heaven and earth to raise them right.  Watching to see if that means that we will even take THEM on if need be.  If we will fight them FOR them...for both their present and future selves. 

Of course, these are just the ramblings of a mama getting put through her proper paces by her teenaged son, who now stands 6 inches taller than his mama while significantly outweighing her to boot.  But joy!  Joy cometh from the dark, entangled crevices of headlock; headlock riddled with teenage rebellion and angst.  And when that light bursts through the rocks of said headlock, we get to see them...  Our sweet sweet babies as their true selves.  And if you as a parent are anything like this mama, you feel sweet relief come crashing down over you, with the musings of hard won victory puddling at your feet.  Tonight, my victory took the form of the following conversation:

BW:  Mama, do you think I could save up $3000?

M:  I think if it were truly important to you could.

BW:  What do you mean?

M:  Well, you're really struggling with self discipline right now kiddo.  And sometimes, we have to really work at training our brains to be, and stay, disciplined.  It's a life lesson that not everybody masters.

BW:  So you don't think I can do it.

M:  That's not what I said son.  I just think you would do better shooting for, and achieving, some short term goals to practice self discipline before shooting for such a lofty goal then getting discouraged about not making it as quickly as you thought you would.  Because sometimes that kind of disappointment makes us think of less of ourselves and our abilities, even when it's not true.

BW:  Mama, do you get like, super happy when you just make, like, a small thing happen?  Like just a small goal?  I mean, i think it's cool but....  I mean... do you?

M:  I absolutely do!  It motivates the CRAP out of me to start scratching after that next goal and the next goal and the one after that!

BW:  I know right?!  Me too!  But um.... do you think I could do it?  Cuz I feel like I would only have to make $100 30 times and that's not really that hard...

M:  I know you can do it.  And I would honestly, like to sit you down and teach you about personal finance.

BW:  Oh man!  That would be awesome...   because they don't teach that in school.  And mama, I was listening to a commercial the other day where they were talking about financing an ATV but mama, I did the math and it was gonna end up costing over $2000 MORE than the actual asking price of the quad.  They make soooo much more than money when people finance!

M:  I know kid.  That's why you need to make saving money your priority.

BW:  And you'll help me mama?

M:  Til the day I die son.  Til the day I die.

It always amazes me how he can shift gears when I shut down all the outside "noise."  All the outside distraction.  It's almost like a weight off HIS shoulders, oddly enough.  And y'all, I would have done ANYTHING to knock that weight off his shoulders.  It truly is a battle for a life hangin in the balance...  As one of my most beautiful friends told me "you do what you have to do.  Because there's always gonna come that one battle, that one fight, where you gotta go all in and MAKE SURE you don't lose because if you lose that fight, you lose that kid."  Truer words have never been spoken.

Suffice it to say parenting is NOT for the faint of heart.

Love to you all.

❤❤❤

(Disclaimer:  the end game was obviously not about his admission to needing help with consumerism and personal finance.  Despite his current state of restriction, he has again begun seeking out personal relationships as well as the opportunity to learn about life and self development/improvement.  Surely, a teenaged admission to NOT knowing everything under the sun can be appreciated in this platform.  😉)